


until my moment comes

by SapphiraBlue



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Major Illness, Medical Conditions, Medical Procedures, Sick Character, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-12 21:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7950388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphiraBlue/pseuds/SapphiraBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything's going right, until suddenly, everything goes wrong. Noya's got a big storm coming.</p><p> -- </p><p>This is a fic wherein I, the author, project myself onto my favorite character, Nishinoya Yuu, in giving him my illness. I'm very, very sorry, Noya.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. hope that you don't suffer

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This will be an ongoing submission the the HQ 2016 Big Bang!
> 
> Tags will change as I update, and I'll try and get updates out as quickly as possible. We're starting out with a short chapter just to get into the swing of things, but I promise they get longer.

“NOYA-SENPAIIIII!!!!”

Nishinoya turned around at Hinata’s enthusiastic yelling, a quizzical look on his face, idly rubbing at his right hand with his left. “Ah, Hinata!! Good morning! What’s got you all excited today? Did you maybe get a date?”

“No, I’m just happy today! Aren’t you? Ah- is there something wrong with your arm?!?”

Noya looked down at his hands, only then realizing what he had been doing – an unconscious habit of his when his arms ached more than usual. He smiled at Hinata’s worried face. “Don’t worry, I just overdid it with practice yesterday… It’ll be fine soon.”

“Nishinoya-senpai, you have so many bruises!! Do they hurt? Are you okay??”

Noya shrugged and smiled easily, holding a heavily bruised arm out for inspection.

“I’ve always been like this, ever since I was little. I just bruise easily, that’s all. I guess there are a bit more than usual… but it’s probably nothing, Shouyou.”

Noya watched in amusement as Hinata somehow looked up at him with admiration in his eyes, exclaiming, “Noya-senpai, you’re so cool! I hope your arms feel better soon!” Then he was running off, probably to look for Kageyama to practice even though the Spring High was long past.

Maybe Hinata had the right idea, wearing a hoodie under his gakuran, Noya thought vaguely as he watched Hinata’s retreating back. He was kinda cold even in the bright late spring sunshine. He blinked himself out of his daze and continued on his way, stretching out his fingers one by one as he walked.

~o0o~

Noya blinked hard, consciously focusing on his notes in front of him, only to zone out again within a few minutes. He could feel his concentration draining rapidly, and dazedly thought he must be getting sick if his energy reserves were so low he could barely concentrate on getting work done, let alone muster any up to be his usual boisterous self. Ryuu’s voice suddenly snapped him out of his funk, loudly directing his attention to the fact that he would be late to lunch if he didn’t hurry his skinny ass up! He shot up out of his chair so fast he nearly capsized the desk in his haste to race after Ryuu.

Noya won the race to the courtyard by a fraction of a hair - Ryuu was catching him up more and more every day now. They both plopped down on a low wall in the courtyard to get started on their lunches. Minutes later, Hinata charged in, skidding over the gravel and nearly scraping his everything in what would have been a truly nasty tumble. He sat down on the wall as well, scarfing his food down so fast that Noya wondered how he didn’t choke. Hinata was finished before Noya was even halfway through his lunch, an unusual event to be sure.

The next second Hinata was already up and begging Noya for receive practice. “Please, Noya-senpai, show me the Rolling Thunder again! Please?”

Noya shook his head, flapping a hand in Hinata’s direction, mumbling, “Ah, not right now, Shouyou, I wanna save my energy for practice today, ok?” He took in the dejected look overtaking Hinata’s cheery face like a cloud in front of the sun, and quickly added, “But I’m sure Ryuu’ll practice with you, won’t you, Ryuu? And maybe you can drag Suga-san away from his college prep long enough to have some fun, hmm?”

~o0o~


	2. take the pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [jaws theme]

Noya braced his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath after the latest set of drills, oddly fatigued after what should have been an easy round of receives. He wiped an arm over his face to get rid of the sweat he could feel dripping all over the place. Straightening up, he struggled to calm his heart rate down enough to draw enough oxygen into his lungs. Tilting his head back, he swiped at some annoyingly persistent sweat under his nose. He pulled his hand away to find it red with blood.

A surprised noise left his mouth. He brought his hands up to try and stop the blood from dripping down his chin, attracting the attention of Ennoshita standing nearby. An expression of shock and concern immediately chased its way across his face, and Ennoshita practically teleported his way to Noya’s side to grip at his shoulders. He nudged a hand under Noya’s chin to cast an assessing eye over the damage.

The blood continued to slide down Noya’s face, without any actual damage or bruising in evidence around his nose. It didn’t look as if it’d stop anytime soon either, and Noya would be useless trying to practice with blood running down his face – even if they tried to stop it up, Noya probably wouldn’t be able to practice. Ennoshita made a quick decision.

Straightening up, Ennoshita called out across the court, “Tanaka, could you take Nishinoya to the nurse?” Tanaka threw an inquiring glance over his shoulder from where he was showing Hinata something or other (thankfully with his shirt still on), doing a double take at the sight of Noya’s wide eyes and bloody face. He immediately dropped what he was doing, ducking under the net to get to Noya. They were both out the door fast enough to forestall even Hinata’s concerned slew of questions.

Later, Noya wouldn’t remember anything but a blur in getting to the nurse’s office. It took nearly twenty minutes for the nosebleed to trickle to a stop, and by that time the nurse was sufficiently alarmed to send Noya home with Tanaka. Tanaka left Noya waiting on the narrow cot, idly kicking his feet, as he ran to get their stuff from the clubroom and let Ennoshita know that they were heading home. Noya’s head swam a bit as he slowly changed out of his practice clothes.

He did his level best to ignore the little concerned side-glances Ryuu kept throwing at him as they made their way home, and concentrated solely on putting one foot in front of the other through the haze in his eyes. Ryuu’s hand tentatively touched his shoulder, and Noya leaned into it, grateful for any reassurance.

Unfortunately, the darkness swirling behind Noya’s eyes took exactly that moment of weakness to overwhelm him. Ryuu made a startled noise and managed to catch his smaller friend before Noya introduced his face to the floor.

~o0o~

Kenma blinked and answered his phone, wondering why Shouyou would call him when usually they just texted back and forth- his train of thought broke off as his tentative hello? was met only with a ragged, torn sound. Kenma belatedly recognized it as a sob, and he came to a sudden stop as anxiety set in.

“…Shouyou? What’s-,” is all he managed to get out before Shouyou was slurring words at him, stumbling and tripping over his syllables as he tried to say everything at once. Kenma interrupted him, calmly saying, “Shouyou, I can’t understand you right now. I need you to take deep breaths and calm down a little… can you do that?”

He heard a shuddery inhale, and another, and then a hiccup as Shouyou tried to get himself a little more under control. Before he could say anything, Kenma asked, “Are you safe? Do you need me to come get you or something?”

“N-no, I-I’m fine, Kenma, it’s not me-e I’m worried about, it’s N-,” and then Hinata choked up again. Kenma realized he could be dealing with a full-blown panic attack if this went on too much longer – luckily, he had experience calming panic attacks down.

By this time Kuroo had noticed Kenma wasn’t following him back home anymore, and he glanced curiously at Kenma as he retraced his steps towards his childhood friend. Kenma shook his head minutely at him as he started directing Shouyou through getting his breathing back under control. Kuroo leant casually against a nearby wall, patiently waiting until Kenma could give him what news he could.

It took almost ten minutes to calm Shouyou down enough so he was mostly coherent. Once Shouyou’s breathing was steadier and he was only sniffling occasionally, Kenma deemed it safe enough to gently probe at his distress.

“I-it’s Nishinoya-senpai… He’s really sick!! He’s in the hospital and h-he might die, Kenma what do I do????”

Kenma blinked in shock, unable to picture the usually energetic and spry libero getting sick, let alone sick enough to land himself in the hospital.

“Shouyou. Do you know what it is he’s sick with?” Kenma didn’t think Shouyou would react like this if Nishinoya had simply caught a bad case of the flu, but he had to make sure.

“I d-didn’t really understand what was going w-when I heard Tanaka-senpai telling Captain Ennoshita why Noya wasn’t at practice. He s-said something about a nosebleed, and transfusions… Do you think he’s gonna be okay Kenma? Tanaka-senpai sounded really really serious!!”

Given how similar Tanaka was to Taketora, Kenma would bet something had to be seriously wrong with Karasuno’s libero to make him act genuinely serious, outside a game. But Kenma couldn’t really place what could be the matter from what Shouyou had said. He thought furiously, trying to come up with a course of action to help assuage Shouyou’s fears. He could only think up one course of action.

“Shouyou, I can’t really tell you if Nishinoya’s going to be okay; I don’t have enough information. You need to go talk to your captain about it, okay? Have him explain it to you so you can understand,” Kenma said quietly. He listened to Shouyou’s still-shaky breathing before he mumbled a tiny okay and said his goodbyes. Kenma thought he’d probably run off to talk to someone immediately, tear-streaked face and all.

Kuroo pulled a questioning face at Kenma, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. Kenma took a deep breath and said, “Karasuno’s libero is in the hospital. I don’t know all the details, but I think it might be serious. Shouyou seemed to think his life is hanging in the balance.”

Kuroo clearly wasn’t expecting that at all, shock plainly written across his face before pulling into a frown, asking, “Anything we can do?” Kenma could only shake his head. He wouldn’t know until Shouyou called him back with more information.

~o0o~

Suga looked up at a tentative knock on the open door of the clubroom, peering around the door to find an oddly nervous Hinata peering up at him (something that always made him feel a bit better around his monstrously tall kouhai). He felt oddly awkward in the situation, although he’d often met a nervous Hinata in the clubroom – maybe it was because his volleyball days were over, now. He was only in the room to pack up some odds and ends he’d left in his locker; he hadn’t expected anyone to still be around. Suga scrunched his nose a bit, and frowned. Hinata seemed more frightened than nervous, which was actually kinda rare for him. He was even fidgeting with his fingers, something almost totally out of character for him; Suga made to ask him what was bothering him, but only got as far as opening his mouth before getting interrupted.

“Suga-senpai, have you seen Captain Ennoshita around? I really, really need to talk to him!” burst forth from Hinata. Suga’s teeth clicked as he shut his mouth, sucking a deep breath in through his nose.

“I haven’t seen him since lunch today, Hinata. He’s probably gone home already, it’s pretty late,” he said gently, trying to suss out the details of Hinata’s distress. Hinata seemed to shrink with the words, anxiety clear in his body language. He started when Suga placed a hand on his shoulder. Suga smiled his best gentle smile and said, “Tell you what, come with me and we’ll talk about what’s got you so worked up, alright? We’ll get pork buns – my treat.” And he gently steered Hinata out of the clubroom, closing and locking the door behind them.

~o0o~

Suga sat Hinata down on a bench outside Coach Ukai’s store and handed him a pork bun. He watched, disconcerted, as Hinata only picked at his pork bun. He decided that, fuck it all, he’d just jump straight to the point, and asked, “What’s got you so bothered? Do you need help studying?”

Hinata took another small bite of his bun, before saying in a small voice, “I heard Tanaka-senpai talking to the captain this morning, a-and. He said Noya was sick! I thought he’d be okay after going to the nurse yesterday, but Tanaka-senpai said he passed out as they were going home!” He took a shuddering breath, and was about to go on before Suga held up a hand.

“This is the first I’ve heard of it, Hinata. Let me call Ennoshita, alright? He’ll give us the facts straight.” At Hinata’s shaky nod, Suga flipped open his phone and dialed Ennoshita’s number, wandering away from the bench.

Ennoshita picked up on the third ring, and barely got out a greeting before Suga was forging ahead with, “Ennoshita, Hinata’s come to me all worried about Nishinoya, is everything alright? He said something about him passing out after practice yesterday?”

A moment of silence passed, before a sound crackled down the line – a sigh, Suga realized. And then, “I was hoping to keep this quiet for a little longer… but yeah, Ryuu told me today that Noya wouldn’t be at practice because he passed out on the way home, and the doctor wants him to do some tests at the hospital today to figure out why. They don’t know what’s wrong yet, or if it’s even serious.”

Suga gnawed at his lower lip, thinking at the speed of light. He was silent for long enough that Ennoshita called his name down the line to confirm he was still there. Suga came to a decision, and quietly said, “Thanks, Ennoshita. I’ll try and calm him down for now. Can you let me know about Noya as soon as you know anything new?” After an affirmative, Suga flipped his phone closed with a decisive snap and headed back toward the bench to hopefully calm Hinata down.

It didn’t surprise him when Hinata only left after extracting almost the exact same promise to let him know anything new ASAP that Ennoshita had given him.

~o0o~

Noya sat up in his bed, drained, upright mostly due to the pillows his mother and Ryuu had piled around him once he’d finally awoken. He felt a kind of bone-deep ache, a slight sense of wrongness that he just couldn’t shake. The sterile whiteness of the hospital room he found himself in didn’t help, either.

He didn’t remember passing out, or the frantic way Ryuu had rushed him home, cradled in his arms. He didn’t wake when his mother opened the door to Ryuu’s distressed face, didn’t wake even when she exclaimed at his pale face and the blood running renewed from his nose. He woke up well after the doctor had been called and had made his pronouncements, which were, according to Ryuu, mostly a lot of large words that amounted to: he couldn’t say for sure, and would need to take a closer look. He was already installed in a hospital room and undergoing a transfusion for blood loss before he finally regained consciousness.

At some point Ryuu had gone home for dinner and to finish his homework, though he had offered to stay, with worry written plain on his face. Noya had shaken his head and shooed Ryuu home to his family. He didn’t want to impinge on his best friend more than he had to, and he knew Ryuu would only stay awake to keep an eye on him if he stayed. Besides, visiting hours were ending and Ryuu would have had to go home at some point anyways.

He blinked, and refocused on his homework, resting on a board on his lap. Even if he had a battery of tests to undergo tomorrow, that didn’t mean he shouldn’t do it. He could probably get Ryuu to drop it off with his teachers for him.

His mother found him asleep when she returned from stretching her legs to check on him just ten minutes later; he was still holding his pencil to the paper, even with the steady breaths of sleep ruffling his drooping hair.

~o0o~


	3. the crowd screams out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inching closer to understanding...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have issues with medical procedures, this chapter is really not for you. If you want to avoid the worst of the medical descriptions, skip from "Soon enough" to "An indeterminable amount of time later".

The next day was a flurry of tests and medical procedures that Noya, in all honesty, couldn’t really follow. The best part of the day was finally getting to leave, and after the flimsy hospital gown pajamas felt like heaven. Ryuu came over after school with all the homework assignments he’d missed, and a note from Hinata, wishing him well and that he’d be okay soon. They spent a couple hours horsing around and getting homework done. Noya vaguely registered the ringing of a phone call, but Ryuu had him caught in a headlock and the ringing stopped as one of his parents presumably picked up.

~o0o~

Hinata himself was in a Skype call with Kenma almost as soon as the both of them got home from practice – despite living far apart, they had made a habit of video chatting at least once a week.

Kenma observed the worry lines around Hinata’s eyes and the uncharacteristic dimness of his smile, and thought to himself that these calls might get more frequent.

Kenma zoned back into the conversation just in time to hear Hinata exclaim, “Tanaka-senpai says that Noya had a whole bunch of tests today, but the doctors still don’t know what’s going on! Is that normal?”

Kenma tilted his head to the side and replied quietly, “I don’t know, Shouyou. If it’s something unusual it will probably take longer.”

Hinata went quiet, then, and soon they hung up to finish their respective homework. Kenma couldn’t help but feel that he hadn’t reassured Shouyou well at all.

~o0o~

After a restless night’s sleep and no breakfast on doctor’s orders, Noya was back at the hospital – this time, the doctors reported that they’d found an irregularity in his blood values. All the cell counts were far too low for someone his age. They informed Noya and his mother both as they sat on uncomfortably chilly examination room chairs that there was a likelihood that there was an anomaly in his bone marrow, and that they’d need to take a sample to check. The doctors said if they decided to do the procedure as soon as possible, the hospital could possibly have an opening for that very same day, as if that were something fortunate.

The doctors left them alone for a while after that, to make a decision on whether to go through with the procedure. Noya excused himself to the bathroom, locked himself in a stall and sat on the floor, back pressed firmly to the wall. He put his head between his knees and focused on breathing steadily; in through the nose, out through the mouth. He pulled out his phone, shooting a quick text to Ryuu.

_You, now:_

_> > are u awake?? _

_Tanaka Bruhsuke, now:_

_> > yeah _

_> > everything ok _

_You, now:_

_> > not really.. _

_> > docs say they need to. check my bone marrow??? _

_> > they’re gonna stab me with needles Ryuu _

_> > you know how i feel about needles _

_Tanaka Bruhsuke, now:_

_> > o shit bro _

_> > any way i can help? _

_You, now:_

_> > idk, send memes? _

_Tanaka Bruhsuke sent a video_

_Tanaka Bruhsuke sent a picture_

_You, now:_

_> > COOL GUUUUUUUYYYYY _

_> > bonus points for cute kittens _

_> > … thanks. i’ll let you know how it goes _

_Tanaka Bruhsuke, now:_

_> > good luck. _

_> > <3 _

Impending anxiety attack averted, Noya stood and unlocked the stall door, washing his hands quickly and making his way back to the exam room. He curled up on the weird green mattress stretcher thing, paper crinkling under him. Hunger and tiredness swirled dizziness around his head.

Soon enough, a nurse came in to get their consent for the procedure, check Noya’s vitals, and to stick him full of needles. Well, ok. One needle, for the IV line, but even one needle was almost too much. He clenched his jaw and looked away as she counted down and pushed the needle into a vein at his elbow. He looked back at his arm out of morbid curiosity, just in time to see the nurse taking some vials of blood. Noya felt a chill run down his spine into his limbs.

The nurse stepped back just as his stomach twisted and lurched. He retched, and suddenly his mother was there, rubbing his back and pressing a bag into his hand, but nothing came up. Noya endured the breathlessness and pain of vomiting and choking on nothing for a minute or so, when his stomach decided to give up. He hunched over, resting his head on his knees, wishing this would all just be over. The warmth of his mother’s hand on his back brought only a small measure of comfort in the cold, sterile hospital setting.

When the time finally came to head into surgery, Noya was almost glad to escape the monotony of sitting around and waiting. He had changed into a flimsy, too-big hospital gown and pants. The only good things about the ensemble were the socks with the sticky pads on the bottom. Noya said a quick goodbye to his mother, pretending not to see the worried expression tightening her normally composed face.

The operating room was frigid, and smelled like recycled air and bleach. The overhead lights glared down, eliminating any traces of shadow. The anesthetist had Noya clamber up on the bed in the center of the room, helping him get situated. One of the nurses buzzing around the room heaved a heated blanket over his legs and tucked it around his feet. Another nurse stuck the sticky pads of a heart monitor to his chest, and the steady beeping of his heart filled the air.

The anesthetist fiddled around with the IV at Noya’s elbow, attaching a syringe filled with saline to flush any blood out of the tubing. It felt cold, and he had the sensation of a metallic taste in his mouth. He pulled a face. The anesthetist laughed and told him it wasn’t uncommon to taste the saline.

After that, everything happened quickly. The surgeon arrived, and the anesthetist fitted a breathing mask over Noya’s face, telling him to breathe deeply and count backwards from ten. The last thing Noya registered was the taste of mint barely masking that of the plastic mask, and the slowing beeping of the heart monitor. Then the darkness swirled up behind his eyes and he knew nothing more.

~o0o~

An indeterminable amount of time later, Noya woke up. At first, he didn’t register being awake. Once he was aware enough to realize he was awake, he struggled through the fuzziness in his brain to force his eyelids open. His eyelids fluttered, opened a little, and closed again. Keeping them open took too much energy, and they felt as if they weighed about 10 tons each.

Even so, the nurse apparently sitting next to his hospital bed noticed the movement, and Noya vaguely heard her calling his mom up from the waiting room to come see him. When he next managed to pry open his eyelids, the nurse offered him something to drink. Noya tried to sit up, but his limbs all felt disconcertingly floaty, and he was vaguely aware of a nagging pain in his right hipbone.

The nurse stopped his feeble attempts at sitting up with a firm hand on his chest, and tucked the blankets tightly around him again. She left for a second to grab his drink, and held the straw of the apple juice box up to his lips. Noya took a couple sips, glad to get rid of the dryness in his mouth. There was a gross taste in the back of his throat. Noya closed his eyes and put his head back on the pillow, feeling oddly disconnected from himself.

At some point, his mother arrived, and she took over from the nurse to feed juice to him. Eventually his hands started working again and he took the juice box for himself, enjoying the coolness of the box against his skin. At some point, the nursing staff wheeled the entire bed back to a private room. They told his mother they’d let her know the results of the check up as soon as they knew them, removed the IV still in his elbow, and left Noya alone to change back into his clothes.

He slowly climbed out of bed, moving carefully to the edge of the bed, letting his legs dangle off the edge for a second while he caught his breath. He carefully eased his left foot onto the floor, feeling the sticky pads of the socks catch on the tiles. A stab of pain lanced through his side when he put weight on his right leg, and bending over was clearly out of the question. He eventually got his clothes on, and opened the door, only to be greeted by his mom and a nurse with a wheelchair. He suffered through the indignity of being wheeled out of the hospital despite technically being able to walk. By the time they got back home it was all he could do to make it up to his bed and tuck himself under the covers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is definitely longer! Hopefully you've all enjoyed up to this point. Leave comments to let me know what y'all think!


	4. they're screaming your name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the unholy offspring of angst and fluff

Noya slept through the rest of the day. His body was exhausted from the anesthetics and the pain. He woke up in time for dinner, and took time to text Ennoshita about sitting out of practice for at least the next couple days due to the hole the surgeon had drilled through his right hipbone in order to take a sample of his bone marrow.

He did his best to get back into the swing of school the next day, but the pain of the procedure combined with his unexpected fatigue laid him lower than usual. At lunch he sat out in the courtyard with Hinata once again, but he looked abnormally pale and wan. Ryuu hovered like a worried mother hen, and Hinata and Yachi ran around trying to make him comfortable. Even Tsukishima toned down on his saltiness around Noya.

Honestly, the fussing flattered him and made him feel fuzzy in his chest, but after a while it got a little overbearing. By the end of the day he kinda just wanted to find a quiet place to hole himself up in and be alone. He didn’t want to deal with fussing or sympathy anymore.

~o0o~

It was a couple days later that Noya came home to the news that he had an appointment at the hospital again the very next day. After hearing the news he shut himself in his room and furiously completed his homework, blowing through maybe three days’ worth of assignments in only a couple hours. He went to bed early.

Noya laid awake in bed for hours more, trying desperately to turn his brain off, with only minimal success.

~o0o~

The next morning dawned pale and cold. Noya emerged from his blankets looking exactly like the weather outside. At least this time he was allowed a breakfast, and he took full advantage of a steaming cup of coffee.

It didn’t make him feel any more human, but at least an attempt was made.

The exam room they got stuck in this time was a different one from the previous visits, but it looked almost exactly the same as the others. Noya idly wondered how medical personnel kept from getting lost in hospitals; they were veritable mazes, every corridor the same.

The doctor didn’t let them wait for too long, arriving and introducing himself to them with firm handshakes. He looked serious. Noya shifted anxiously in his seat.

“The results from your bone marrow aspiration have just come in,” said the doctor, meeting Noya’s eyes directly. Noya ducked his head and fidgeted with his hands, nodding a bit to show he’d heard. The doctor continued, saying, “The results are this: you are in the beginning stages of bone marrow failure.”

He paused a little bit, for effect, or just to let this information sink in; Noya couldn’t tell. He went on, “This means that your bone marrow is losing functionality. Obviously this is a problem, because bone marrow creates all the blood cells in the human body. Untreated bone marrow failure is fatal.”

At that, Noya’s head shot up to meet the doctor’s eyes, alarm spreading through him like ice water. The doctor was studying him with a serious expression, ignoring the shocked sounds coming from his parents.

“Now,” continued the doctor, “there is a way to treat bone marrow failure. It’s a long process, and it’s draining. There’s a degree of danger associated with it as well, but chances of success these days are at about 80%.”

Noya nodded, taking this information in. Eighty percent was a pretty good chance of surviving. Before he could ask questions, his mom broke in with worried questions of her own.

The doctor answered them to the best of his abilities, and went on with, “The only way to cure bone marrow failure once it’s started is to perform a bone marrow transplant. We find an appropriate match from a donor, and transplant their marrow into you, after destroying your original marrow. If all goes well, it shouldn’t take more than a few weeks, provided we can find a suitable donor.”

The rest of the meeting was a bit of a blur to Noya, as his brain struggled to process this influx of information. He heard the doctor and his parents discussing the best course of action to take at this point.

He knew he wasn’t too bad off yet, but that his condition could easily worsen quickly. It was probably safest to start looking for a donor immediately, if worst came to worst and he had to be rushed to transplant.

His mind turned to his team, and to volleyball; what if he could never play volleyball again after the transplant? The doctor had said the transplant would take at least a few weeks if everything went smoothly, and that his best bet at a good transplant was at a transplant hospital in Tokyo. With all that time spent away from the team and not training, he would probably not be able to keep up in the next Interhigh. He just wouldn’t be fit enough in time, unless he trained through the transplantation. He doubted it’d be possible at all, due to being stuck in the hospital and feeling ill in general from the process of transplantation.

He went through the process of registering for the bone marrow registry with a certain detachment. Nothing about this situation felt quite real to him yet – it couldn’t possibly be happening to him. This all had to be some kind of absurd dream. He’d probably eaten too many meat buns after practice and slipped into some kind of nightmarish alternate reality.

He pinched himself on the arm, and hissed. Probably not a dream, then.

~o0o~

The news of Noya’s affliction spread quickly. Within hours, Kenma received a text from Hinata with almost too many exclamation points to comprehend. Hinata reported almost word-for-word what he’d heard from Suga: that Noya-senpai’s bone marrow was shutting down and that he’d probably need a transplant soon so he wouldn’t get incredibly sick and die.

Kenma could clearly sense Hinata’s worry and desire to do something for his mentor, so he put his observational skills to good use and did a little research. Within 20 minutes, he was skyping Hinata to clarify a few points.

The call connected with a click, and the screen of Kenma’s laptop loaded a grainy video feed of Shouyou’s room. Shouyou was sitting at his desk, face thrown into sharp relief against the dark of his room by the lamp on the desk. Even so, Kenma could see the worry in his expression.

Kenma filled Shouyou in on the products of his research, trying to help him understand that Nishinoya would be okay. Shouyou seemed to trust him, but his worry latched on to something Kenma hadn’t even thought about.

“What if Noya-senpai doesn’t get a good enough match? Then the transplant wouldn’t work, and he’d still be sick!” Hinata waved his hands, trying to emphasize his point.

Kenma blinked. He hummed under his breath, considering. “Well,” he started slowly, “I guess then we’d just have to help him find that match, right? You said Sugawara-san said that he had to register for something to help find a match. Maybe there’s a way to get people to sign up as donors?”

Shouyou’s face lit up like the sun, and he exclaimed, “You think we can do something like that?!? Kenma! You’re a genius!!”

Kenma could feel a small smile on his own face, enjoying the hope on his friend’s face. He interrupted Shouyou’s celebration of a solution to say, “I’m sure Nekoma and Fukurodani would help as well. We’ve both played Karasuno, after all; and Karasuno needs Nishinoya Yuu next year.” He ignored Shouyou’s spluttering at that, and went on, “Let me talk to Kuroo, alright? We’ll get something set up with your captain.”

He hung up after they said their goodbyes, and immediately picked up his phone to text Kuroo, hoping he had charged his phone and hadn’t left it lying somewhere.

_You, now:_

_> > hey _

_bedhead furry, now:_

_> > hey. what’s up? _

_You, now:_

_> > heard back about Nishinoya-san from Karasuno _

_> > it’s pretty bad _

_bedhead furry, now:_

_> > you want to do something, don’t you? _

_You, now:_

_> > you know me so well _

_> > Nishinoya-san needs a bone marrow match from the registry _

_> > i did some research and bone marrow registry drives are a thing _

_> > we could probably host some?? it could probably count towards service hours or something, idk _

_bedhead furry, now:_

_> > that could work. lemme see what i can do _

_You, now:_

_> > can you contact Bokuto as well? the more we get the better, probably _

_bedhead furry, now:_

_> > yeah, no problem _

_> > gimme a minute _

In another part of Tokyo, Bokuto’s phone rang. He picked it up with a distracted _Hello?_

“Yo, bro,” came down the line, and was enthusiastically returned.

“What do you need? You don’t usually call this late,” Bokuto questioned his friend. A moment of silence, and then-

“You know Karasuno’s libero?”

“Sure, what about him?”

“Well – ”Kuroo took a deep breath, “ – Kenma heard from Hinata that he’s pretty sick. He needs a bone marrow transplant.”

Bokuto didn’t say anything for a while, processing that fact. He found it hard to reconcile the small, energetic libero with the word ‘sick’ – Nishinoya had just seemed so full of life and determination at the training camps and the Spring High that the mere thought of him getting sick was almost unthinkable. Finally, he said, “You’re obviously telling me this for a reason – what’re you scheming?”

Bokuto could practically hear Kuroo’s pleased expression over the phone as he said, “Kenma wants to organize bone marrow donor registration drives at our schools. Apparently, your chibi-chan wants to make sure Nishinoya gets a perfect match.”

Bokuto wiped an imaginary tear from his eye, fake-sobbing, “That’s my tiny bird son for you, always looking out for others… I’m in, though. Karasuno needs their libero. I’ll get Akaashi to help me arrange it and everything.”

Elsewhere in Tokyo, Akaashi sneezed, dropping his phone on his face and nearly deleting the text he was busy writing to Kenma about the organizing of the registration drive.

~o0o~

The bone marrow registration drives were organized fairly quickly; everyone involved was keen to help out one of their own. Even if they were all on opposing teams, they felt a kind of obligation to support everyone in the community – otherwise, the games just wouldn’t be as great.

Yachi even made up poster designs for every school participating in the drives – they were well designed, and caught the eye anywhere they were hung. She kept getting more and more requests from other schools that had heard of the drives, and decided to participate as well. Every school that had played against Karasuno, and even a few that had only had fleeting contact with the fringes of the Karasuno team, contacted the Karasuno managers to ask how to organize a drive themselves.

Consequently, the registration drives were spread out among several cities as well as within those cities. Each school had enough volunteers, both from the volleyball teams and from other students, to keep the registration drives going for a good few days, increasing the number of people they could register.

Yachi’s posters were put up all around the city, and the citizens took note – a lot of them had heard of the struggles of Karasuno’s volleyball club through the Spring Nationals. The dark horse win wrested from the claws of defeat had had a majority of Torono citizens watching, and even a good portion of other Miyagi Prefecture citizens had followed their matches. So, when the posters went up, people living in range of Karasuno made the trip out to register in order to help out their champion volleyball team. The news that one of their own was in need rallied the community to do everything in its power to aid in any way possible.

This, coupled with the donations that had been steadily pouring in after Karasuno’s win, served to make the drive far-reaching and incredibly effective. Adults from all walks of life who met the requirements registered. Including, to the surprise of Hinata and literally nobody else, Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei.

~o0o~

Noya watched all this to-do with a kind of bafflement. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to merit the kind of support his team was offering, but he was unendingly appreciative that they were so obviously supportive.

He kept out of the preparations for the drive, in part because of his mounting fatigue, but also because he didn’t want to become the centerpiece of the event, trotted out like some kind of freak show attraction for the masses to gawk at and pity. Logically, he knew that that would never happen with his team supporting him, but that was the way this whole endeavor felt to him. He wasn’t used to attention given to him for reasons other than his flashy moves and receiving skills. He hadn’t quite wrapped his head around his situation, either, always hoping he’d wake up from a terrible nightmare.

He continued to get his blood counts monitored on a regular basis, and the values kept dropping, little by little. Noya could tell his parents were growing worried, and Ryuu’s face developed a slightly pinched expression when he thought about it too much. The only comfort he took was in the bone marrow registry – if worst came to worst, the doctors could probably find an okay match on short notice.

The registry was busy cataloguing and typing all the people who had signed up as donors in the drives. There were enough that it took several weeks – and by that time, Noya’s blood counts had declined to the point that it was clear they wouldn’t recover at all.

Noya and his parents had the conversation after dinner one night – about the prospects of transplant. They assured him that they’d support him every step of the way, and that they loved him; he supposed that there wasn’t really any other option at this point. Now it was all a matter of getting a donor match, and deciding on a transplant center.

Remembering the conversation with the doctor in that bleak hospital room after his bone marrow aspiration, Noya asked about the chances of getting transplanted in Tokyo. His parents exchanged a look, considering. It was the best transplant center in Japan, but it was also pretty far away, and Tokyo was expensive. Noya could almost read the ‘but we want him to live’ in their gaze, and finally they promised to look into it.

~o0o~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on getting the rest of the chapters up as soon as possible. Lemme know what you think so far!


	5. spend your days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tokyo would probably be a nice place to be if you're not stuck in a hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! this chapter is still a little rough, so edits will probably be going up soon!

Serendipitously, a match was found for Noya the very next week. The match came from a totally unexpected person: Takeda Ittetsu, Karasuno Volleyball Club faculty advisor and Japanese literature teacher. The irony of literally seeing the person who could save his life every single day and being totally unaware of it didn’t escape Noya, or really anyone on the team. Ryuu and Hinata both were tearfully impressed that their Takeda-sensei would go so far for one of them.

With the identification of a suitable donor, the transplantation process got started – Noya travelled to Tokyo with his mother several days before the actual event, to get settled and prepared for everything.

To his surprise, several members of Nekoma VBC were waiting at the train station to welcome Noya and his mother to the city and make sure they wouldn’t get lost. Kuroo and Kenma were understandable, as they both respected Noya as a player and wanted the best for him, and they could easily get the information on his arrival from his team.

The presence of Yaku at the station was more unexpected. Yaku and Noya respected each other as fellow liberos, but that hadn’t really extended outside of the court before. Even so, his presence wasn’t unwelcome. At the very least, they could easily relate to each other.

After introducing his mother to the three rival players, Yaku piped up, saying, “I thought that if you wanted a place to stay and freshen up my family and I would gladly invite you to our home, Nishinoya-san. We live very close to the hospital.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little uncomfortable with being so forward to the parent of a rival.

Nishinoya Yukine smiled gently at Yaku and said that yes, she would very much appreciate his family’s hospitality. Yaku blushed, rubbed the back of his neck, and studiously scrutinized his scuffed sneakers.

The small group made its way out of the crowded train station with moderate difficulty. A hurrying businessman bumped into Noya, knocking him sideways into Yaku, who quickly reached out to help steady him. Noya muttered a quick word of thanks and breathed a quick sigh of relief once they made it out onto the (slightly) less crowded street.

Realizing that there were still a few hours to go before Noya had to check into the hospital, the Nekoma players decided to show off some of the finer points of their hometown. Noya became the first Karasuno player to see the actual Tokyo Tower, and to go to the very top observation platform. They had a large lunch of the best non-hospital food they could find, in order to make the most of the day.

At that point, Kenma and Kuroo took their leave, heading off to do whatever it was those two did together. Noya, his mother and Yaku all headed towards the hospital, taking a slight detour just before in order to see Yaku’s house. Noya was rather unsurprised that it was a small neat house with a nice bit of garden out front. He was also unsurprised at the three cats that ran up to the door to greet them when Yaku opened it.

One cat immediately jumped up onto Yaku’s shoulder when he crouched down to greet them, balancing nonchalantly even as he stood up. Noya snickered at the image, but started when he felt the pressure of paws on his leg. A pretty tortoiseshell with flowing fur was leaning up on his leg. Noya let her sniff at his fingers, and smiled when she gently nudged his fingers with her head. Noya moved to take his shoes off, and she followed, twining around his legs and nearly tripping him up. In order to avoid any injuries on either of their parts, he scooped her up in his arms, nuzzling her soft fur as he toed his shoes off. Noya’s mother came up behind him, patting the cat on her fluffy head as she also took her shoes off.

Yaku gestured for them to follow him, and set off through the hallway, cat still casually poised on his shoulder. Yaku's parents were sitting in the living room, and stood up to greet them, gushing about how wonderful it was that they had come, and how happy they were to host Nishinoya's mother for the duration of his treatment. Noya observed how chipper they were, and wondered where Yaku's tendency for explosive anger came from.

The cat in Noya's arms started wiggling to be let down, and he bent down to put her on the floor, only to feel another set of paws land on his back as Yaku's regal shoulder cat used him as a springboard onto a nearby shelf. He yelped a bit at the claws digging into his back, straightening up with a wince. Yaku snickered at him when Noya pulled a face and rubbed his back where he could feel the telltale burning sensation of cat scratches.

From the corner of his eye, Noya saw his mother check her watch. He turned to face her, and she gestured that it was time to leave. They bid their farewells to the Yakus, and Yaku the younger offered to walk them to the hospital. They agreed, not wanting to get lost.

The walk to the hospital was quiet, and slightly awkward. Noya felt fatigue sneaking up at him, and he comforted himself with the knowledge that he'd soon get his own room to rest in, even if it was a hospital room. Yaku seemed to be thinking very hard about something from where he was walking next to Noya.

The walk from Yaku's house to the hospital really was very short, and they were nearing the doors to the hospital within a few minutes. They said their goodbyes at the door, Noya's mother thanking Yaku for being so kind again, causing his ears to flush a violent red. He seemed to come to a decision, and asked for a quick word with her in private.

They stepped away from Noya for a minute, leaving him tilting his head quizzically. He wondered what was so important that they had to discuss right this second. He watched as his mother inclined her head to listen to Yaku speaking quietly. Noya couldn't quite tell from where he was standing, but she seemed to be smiling. Then she laughed, as Yaku flushed red yet again. She said something to him, and he nodded quickly, bowing deeply before calling a goodbye out to Noya and taking his leave.

Noya waved to him until he was out of sight, not really wanting to leave the warmth of the sunshine and rustling of the leaves in the wind for the cold and sterile hospital hallways. He took a deep breath, enjoying his last few moments of freedom, and then turned towards the hospital and opened the doors. He walked into the cold embrace of the hospital air conditioning, feeling goosebumps and a sense of dread both sweep over him.

~o0o~

Checking into the hospital was a flurry of filling out paperwork and checking vitals. The only hiccup in what seemed to be a well-practiced routine came when Noya mentioned the scratches Yaku's cat had inflicted on him. They were quickly treated with antibiotics and covered with bandages. Noya wondered why they were fussing so much, so he asked about it.

"You're here for a bone marrow transplant, right?" asked the nurse handling his paperwork. At his affirmative nod, she continued, "We have to completely get rid of your current bone marrow. Bone marrow also creates your white blood cells, which handle infections - if we don't watch over those scratches, they could get badly infect when your cell counts start plummeting.”

Noya nodded, scrunching his eyebrows and hoping to high heaven that the scratches would be healed up enough by the time treatment started that nothing bad would come of it. At least now that they were covered in antibiotics they weren't as itchy as they were before.

After checking in and all the paperwork, they were finally guided toward a room in the transplant wing of the hospital. At this point Noya was in a normal hospital room, but once he started chemotherapy they would move him to a clean room in order to minimize his chances of any infections or illnesses while his immune system was gone.

After half an hour or so, Noya's primary doctor came in and introduced herself as Doctor Inoue Hikari. She detailed the procedures Noya would be going through in the next few days: the first, a port placement. She explained that the port was something like a long term IV - it was necessary that he get one, as that was the best way to deliver the bone marrow. They'd be able to more easily administer the chemotherapy through the port as well. She advised him to get a good night's sleep before the procedure, as it'd take a few hours, and he wouldn't be able to eat after midnight either.

Noya and his mother used the rest of the day to set up the hospital for maximum comfort. Noya set up his laptop and sorted his clothes so he'd have easy access to them. His mother left after a while to grab the best dinner possible from the hospital cafeteria, and Noya used that time to sneak his favorite plush toy out of his bag and under the covers. It had been a gift from Tanaka a week prior; the soft silver of the fabric reminded Noya of Ryuu's buzzcut. He squished the plush in a tight hug for a moment before squirreling it away under the pillows on the hospital bed.

His mother returned soon with dinner; she had grabbed everything that looked decently palatable. She had piled both their plates with as many greens and vegetables as possible. When Noya raised an eyebrow at the almost excessive vitamins on his plate, she smiled tearfully, joking about keeping his health up with vitamins so he could have the best chance possible for recovery.

Noya looked down at his plate, and carefully set it on his desk, before crossing over to his mother and hugging her tightly.

The moment her arms went around him he felt her back shake with sobs. He rested his head on her shoulder, rocking gently as he felt tears prickle up in his own eyes. Within a few seconds, they were both crying too hard to speak. Noya cried silently, biting his lip, and only the hitching and stilted rhythm of his breathing gave away that he was in emotional pain. His mother sobbed quietly, holding him tightly and carding a hand through his hair.

Growing slightly uncomfortable in the awkward position he was in, Noya shifted and slid to sit on his mother's lap. It had been years since he was technically small enough to comfortably sit on her lap, but they both seemed to need the comfort at the moment. They rocked together until the tears stopped and they felt tired from the emotional drain.

Noya pulled back to look his mother in the eyes, and she reached out to cradle one cheek in her hand. She searched his face for a moment, before saying, "We'll get through this together. Okay? I'm here for you, and so is your father. You don't have to face this all alone."

Noya's eyes watered once again, even though he'd literally just cried for half an hour already. His mother smiled gently at him and cradled him close again, just holding him close and giving him all the comfort she could as he wailed into her shoulder. This wasn't the quiet crying of before, when he'd held himself back for his mother's sake. This was the full-out sobbing of someone in turmoil, someone who was afraid of what the future might hold for him.

The love and support of his mother, and of his teammates from the past weeks all came crashing down on him at once, inundating him in a swell of gratefulness for the people in his life. It was an overwhelming feeling, knowing that he didn't have to face this huge unexpected enemy in his life alone. He could almost feel the press of his teammates beside him, lined up and ready to help him fight.

Once his tears finally calmed, his mother gently wiped the tear tracks from his face with a tissue, and made him blow his nose. She kissed him on the forehead. They settled in to finally eat their dinner, now only lukewarm. From the first bite, Noya was overcome by an almost overwhelming hunger, and he ate everything on his plate, and even a little bit left over on his mother's plate.

After dinner, they talked quietly for maybe another half hour, before Noya's mother deemed it too late for him to be awake any longer and sent him to get ready for sleep. She wanted him to be in top shape for the procedure the next morning, after all. She took her leave of him after he had brushed his teeth, washed the gel out of his hair, and put on his pajamas. She kissed him on the forehead again and tucked him into bed, reminding him that he just had call if he needed anything. And then she left, gently shutting the door behind her, stopping by the nurse's station on her way out to let them know where they could find her.

~o0o~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter made me cry.


	6. but they all add up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chemotherapy is a bitch.

The next morning, Noya awoke blearily to a nurse shaking him awake. She handed him one of the awful thin hospital gown and pants combinations, and told him to wear the gown with the open side to the front. He grumbled a bit, but did as he was told. In all honesty, he wasn't looking forward to getting a port implanted under his skin at all - it seemed like such a hassle to keep clean and maintain in general.

He padded down the hall after the nurse, who took him down to radiology for the procedure. He did his best to relax when the nurse stuck an IV in the crook of his elbow again. When asked why, she told him that since he had to be awake for this procedure, they would administer medications to help him relax.

The medications did help, and he did his best to do everything asked of him during the procedure. The incisions stung, and it felt weird as hell when the surgeon placed the catheter into a vein, but overall the procedure wasn't the worst thing he'd ever done.

His mother was in his room when he got back; he was once more in a wheelchair, out of precaution. She helped him into the bed, and stayed with him until he felt he'd recovered enough from the port placement to attempt the homework that was no doubt stacking up in his absence. He and the school had made an agreement - Noya didn't want to halt his schooling for the duration of his stay in the hospital, because he knew he'd go stir crazy without anything to do. So, they sent him all his assignments electronically, and he'd send them back by their due dates in order to keep all his credits.

He figured if he didn't understand something he could always text or Skype Ryuu or Ennoshita for help. He got started on the first batch of readings, trying to wrap his head around the concepts of Japanese literature they were studying. Maybe he'd get some of Takeda-sensei's knowledge of Japanese literature with his bone marrow transplant, he mused. The thought made him snort a laugh, startling his mother across the room where she was working as well. She raised a quizzical eyebrow at him, and he explained his thought, making her laugh as well. She stood and came over to ruffle his hair, telling him she'd have to thank Takeda profusely afterwards if it did happen.

The rest of the day was a rather uneventful one - the doctors wanted to wait for the port to settle and make sure it wouldn't have an adverse effect on him before they'd get started on the chemotherapy. It was fairly quiet in the room, the silence only broken occasionally by conversation or a nurse coming in to check that everything was going well. Noya got a good head start on his work, something he was glad of - he worried that he'd be too weak or ill later to concentrate on classwork.

An uneventful day gave way to an uneventful night - within a few days the doctors finally deemed Noya healed up enough from the port insertion to go ahead with chemotherapy. By that time, he was practically bouncing off the walls wit what little energy he still had, feeling trapped in the tiny hospital room and the surrounding hallways. Truthfully, he wasn't looking forward to chemotherapy. He liked his hair well enough that he didn't want it all falling out, and he wasn't looking forward to the nausea and the general bad health that came with it. But, at the same time, he wanted this whole ordeal over with as soon as humanly possible, so that he could be healthy again.

The day came when the chemotherapy treatments began. Noya was incredibly nervous, and his mother clearly picked up on his anxiety. She held his hand as much as she could up until the treatment, when a nurse attached the chemotherapy bag to the IV drip above the bed and attached it to his port. She placed a big tub within arm's reach of Noya, for the inevitable nausea and vomiting. She gave him what was probably meant to be a comforting smile, but that came across as rather more tired than comforted. Noya smiled back anyways, because she had a hard job and he was grateful that she would be there to help him.

Noya felt fine for a little while, and then when the nausea hit it was sudden and all-consuming. He spent a lot of the treatment alternately retching into the tub or curled up on the bed, sweaty, trying to ignore the coil of greasy nausea twisting in his abdomen. His mother watched on with concern, rubbing his back and holding his hair away from his face while he vomited. The violence of the nausea was terrifying to watch and to experience, and she wished with all her heart that she could take her son's place for a while just to alleviate the pain and fear.

By the time the first course of chemotherapy was over, Noya was limp and exhausted. He was wan and trembling, and his skin was clammy to the touch. He looked and felt gross, so when the nurse finally freed him from the IV bag, he was ready to take a shower. His mother helped him from the bed, supporting him to the bathroom and making sure that he was okay to sit in the shower stall and rinse off his exertions.

He took his time in the shower, too tired to even stand up to shower properly. He listlessly washed his hair and washed the sweat from his body. Drying off nearly sapped the rest of his energy, and he pulled only just pulled on pajamas and brushed his teeth. The minute his head hit the pillow he was out, even though it was technically only mid-afternoon. Luckily, he didn't do chemotherapy every day from then on. The doctors first checked whether his body could tolerate the dosage he was already at, and if it was effective. His blood counts started dropping, and he got moved to a clean room in short order.

~o0o~

When his hair started falling out, Noya was struck that this was really happening. He was really about to kill off a part of him to avoid dying from it. This thought gave him such a weird detached feeling that he decided to ignore it and instead focus on his work.

Unfortunately, his mother noticed the shedding of his hair, and insisted he face the music and finally shave his head. He refused for as long as possible, but she was as stubborn as he was, if not more. Finally, she brought Yaku with her as backup. Yaku had brought an electric razor, and in a quiet voice he assured Noya that it'd look weirder to have patchy hair.

Beaten, Noya submitted to Yaku's tender mercies, and so Yaku shaved his head as short as possible. Afterwards, Noya insisted that Yaku take a selfie with him, so he could prove to Ryuu that Noya looked just as cool with a buzzcut. Yaku sighed and took the selfie with him, and Noya laughed long and hard at the result: Yaku's deadpan face crowned by a sterile hair net, with the edge of a peace sign between their two faces.

~o0o~


End file.
